I hate to say it, but this is the first time I’ve really been hit hard with post partum horomones – HARD! Of course, I’m a little more stressed this go round with 4 little ones in my care now.

We’ve had a week though – starting out with DH going back to work. That went pretty well actually! Tuesday we had visitors, only to find out the next day that my grandmother had pneumonia! She didn’t come the day before, but my grandfather did. I was sick that I hadn’t asked him about her sickness, or even to wash his hands before holding the baby. But then, I had no idea she was that sick either.

So, shame on me for not asking first if everyone was healthy before they visited/ brought food. I wrongly assumed they wouldn’t expose us to anything. I guess being older they didn’t think about it – all the more reason for me to ask questions!

Thankfully, we later found out that she had walking pneumonia, which isn’t nearly as contagious – if at all. I’m pretty sure it can’t be carried by others – like my grandfather. Okay, that was one major stressor this week.

Wed. we headed out for pics at Target (previously mentioned). Up at 7:45, out the door around 1:45 – all for pictures at 5. LOL. We did get some really great shots this time though – yeah!!

DH was off Tuesday and Thursday, back to work on Friday. Middle son (20 months) and DD (3.5) have really had a tough time with dad going back to work. They generally have cried each morning missing him, esp. DS. This is hard on me – dealing with not one, but two crying children so early in the morning.

Okay, now to today. We’ve been trying for AGES to get in contact with the contractor clearing our land. Finally I called them from our cell phone (they didn’t know that number) and got them to answer! We met today, only to find out that he’s swindled us big time.

We’d paid him upfront for the septic tank and some gas money. He took that money and bought Christmas gifts and paid bills with it – not one cent for a septic tank. Today, he’s asking for the rest of the money. Now, we agreed on a set price, which included 12 hours of labor. He put in 24 and wants us to pay him for that time.

Mind you, he still hasn’t bought or installed the septic tank yet – but has spent a LOT of our money on personal uses. He wasn’t budging today, even when we mentioned having to contact the authorities regarding it – he told us to go ahead.

We are SICK!! Do we get the sheriff to visit him and hopefully get our money back (minus $130 fees), or let him keep the $650 he’s stolen outright above our agreed price? He was offering to give us part of it back, but keeping this $650 that he ‘might have’ worked, but we didn’t agree to pay him for. UGHHH!!!

This is so not a good time to have to deal with this. Now DH is questioning even keeping the land at all now. This is somewhat okay with me, but part of me has wanted land in the country so bad! We have it mostly cleared now, and the drive is shaped.

All that’s left is a little extra clearing/ drainage, gravel, and the septic tank. I just don’t know, and we’re so  confused. It didn’t help that the baby screamed and screamed part of the way there and back (1 hour each way). Aren’t babies supposed to LIKE riding in cars? This one does NOT!

Okay, it’s late, I’m tired, I’m horomonal. Sickness is all around, though thankfully we’re all well! Oh yeah, the guy today was sick and didn’t bother telling us! Then he had the nerve to start smoking in front of our children!

DH asked him to please not do that in front of them, to which he smarted off that the wind was blowing the other way. DH did great – I was proud! He asked him again, not only for the breathing issue, but because he didn’t want our children seeing him smoking. I was so mad at him already that I really didn’t think of it this way, so really was proud that DH cared that much about our children even being exposed to it visually!

I’m hoping some sleep will help, and the rest will smooth itself out. I’m a little tired of being SO tired, especially mentally. I just don’t feel like I’m able to accomplish anything good anymore – or anytime soon. I want to be mommy, but I also enjoy my blogs/ business. I know which one comes first, but it’s so hard some times – anyone else need an ‘out’?

Sorry for a slightly depressing post, but this IS where I’m at right now. I can’t imagine women who suffer from PPD – feeling even worse than I have today! This is a real thing, but not one that I’m open to taking meds for (at least not where I’m at now). I believe once things get a little more normal and figured out it will be easier. Right now I just have so many roles (mom, wife, teacher, cook, washer woman - ha), I have to make them all work.

Don’t forget to think about the whole swine flu scare – which isn’t anywhere near as deadly as the flu itself each year. Yeah, I’m thinking it’s been a deliberate thing to make money – sad, but true in my opinion. Either way, it’s made me rethink taking our children out at all right now – just because there are so many people sick that DON’T stay home. The pneumonia scare this week really hit home – how horrible it would’ve been if the baby had caught that!

Signing off -

“Little Mommy”